Jessica批改學員英文日記(中級程度)

2008/10/10 22:50
 

 

修改註解版(紅字):

 

Dear Jessica:

 

This is first time that I send mail to you.(that 可以省略)
Maybe I can write somethings(something) about(the reason) why I am eager to learn English.
And I am happy in(in
不需要,副詞前不需介詞) here to meet a good English teacher.
She has patiences(patience) to correct my English , especially in the(the
不需要) listening.

It will bring me many promotion opportunities if I have good English skills.
And I already have some other strengths,like RD background, factory working experiences...etc.
The road to the management level of company is very far(the possibility to work in the management position is low) if I have no this kind of abilities.(ability)

So I have to keep the passion in learning English and face my weakness.
I think one day I can present very well in the(the
去掉) speech (in the speech也没必要)in English.

(I think i can present in English very well one day.)


Now it is time to bed.
to be continued

BR
CN

 

修改完成版 :

 

Dear Jessica


This is first time
(that) I send mail to you.
Maybe I can write somethings(something) about(the reason) why I am eager to learn English.
And I am happy here to meet a good English teacher.
She has patience
to correct my English, especially in listening.

It will bring me many promotion opportunities if I have good English skills.
And I already have some other strengths,
like RD background, factory working experiences...etc.
The road to the management level of company is very far(the possibility to work in the management position is low) if I have no this kind of abilit
y.

So I have to keep the passion in learning English and face my weakness.
I think I can present in English
very well one day.


Now it is time to bed.
To be continued.

BR
CN

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